5 Powerful Ways to Break the Cycle of Family Karma

Molly Holmes, LMFT Author

Posted On Sep 25, 2021 |

Mindful Attachment Parenting teaches you the skill set you need to break negative family cycles. So you and generations to come can truly thrive!

Generational curses and blessings

How do some people have unusual interests that their long-lost relatives and ancestors who came before them used to have? This happens without any conscious knowledge of these people. Scientists are trying to unravel the mystery that shamans have known for eons. We pick up such things from the stored DNA in our genetic line. This might explain the stories of child prodigies such as Judit Polgar, Wolfgang Mozart, or Vincent Van Gogh. It makes sense of how a beginner has mastery of a skill or awareness about things they never learned. Actually, another term for family karma is “ancestral karma,” both the positive and negative variety. In fact, research shows that you could have a physical problem or psychological defense mechanism caused by trauma that one of your ancestors experienced. But the good news is that you can learn how to heal and be a generational curse breaker.

The karmic transmission process

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I would wake up in the morning, and then, not seconds later, I would psychically “feel” her wake up too. Like clockwork, she would start vigorously moving around, with her brain in a waking state. How is it that she could feel me wake up, and I could feel her wake up in return? My theory is that mirror neurons work on an energetic level as well as a bio-neurological one. According to energy healing modalities, we do have an energetic nervous system as well as an energetic brain. This has profound implications for how unresolved psychic material gets passed down to our kiddos.

Your nervous system is like a time machine

In fact, when I facilitate Mommy & Me groups, I can literally sense the energy of family karma pouring into the psyche of an infant when the primary caregiver is triggered. Conversely, I feel it stop once the parent is present and emotionally self-regulated. And we know that mirror neurons can pattern our child’s brain to match our own biopsychological states, which makes being mindful about our own psychic stuff so important. Because unresolved material in our consciousness takes us out of the present and into the time/space from which it was created via the nervous system. Or to where it will manifest if it is a pattern of always worrying about the future. If you are not present, there is no consciousness filter to help prevent the transmission of family karma into your children. Thus, practicing mindfulness is key to breaking cycles in real time.

What exactly is family karma?

Family karma is energy you inherit from your family through the process of nature (DNA) and nurture (RNA)—or what is known as the field of epigenetics. Whatever is not resolved is stored in the physical and energetic DNA and passed from one generation to another. Have you ever noticed how different families have their own unique themes and stories? Some families have a history of addiction, others a history of allergies, cancer, or heart disease. These can be family karmic patterns on mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual levels, including but not limited to: dysfunctional roles, limiting beliefs, judgments, negative traits, family grudges, fears, or traumas like physical, mental/emotional, and sexual abuses. Every person in a family carries some of these energetic blueprints and has the opportunity to heal them so they are not passed down to the next generations.

How genetic memory is stored

The simplest example of this stored-memories phenomenon is instinct. Instinctual behaviors are developed as a result of mirror neurons doing what they do in the parent-child relationship. They are passed down through genes via genetic memory and have a strong impact on the brain. The theory that memories are passed down the family tree can be proven by observing animal behavior. In an old study that has been replicated many times, rats were introduced into a maze. Scientists observed that what they learned about the maze was passed down to their children. In fact, the offspring regained the knowledge before examining the maze themselves and knew exactly where to go. All of the available studies suggest that genetic memory also bears the records of traumatic events that can be passed down generation after generation.

Phobias, anxiety, and PTSD do not fall far from the family tree

This family karma may also be the cause of irrational phobias toward things you have never actually experienced. Because you may have inherited a specific phobia from an ancestor who had a traumatic or stressful experience. And research shows that phobias can be passed down. For example, family members may have been bitten by a poisonous spider, died in a fire, or experienced being trapped in a small space. None of these things may have happened to you, but the memory in your DNA may cause you to fear these things regardless. This phenomenon may help further explain passing down mental health challenges with anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The energetic living library of your DNA

Understanding that DNA is like an energetic living library of our ancestry has the potential to radically shift treatment approaches toward energy healing modalities. And learning how to access and release this ancestral trauma—which can show up again in your current family system—can help you and your family finally break the cycle. Because, who knows how many generations have already suffered? Once I understood that everything is stored in an energetic ancestral “vault” that I could access, I began to meditate on and tap into this family karma. As a result, I learned so much about what happened to my ancestors, what was passed down and why, and how to heal it. Then I created the Mindful Attachment Parenting approach to help you break negative cycles once and for all! In fact, there are five powerful ways to break the cycle of family karma included in the MAP method.

5 Powerful Ways to Break the Cycle of Family Karma

1. Choose to be a cycle breaker!  The first step in healing anything is to exercise your power of choice. Because you have to consciously choose to do the inner work to break the cycle of negative family roles, traits, beliefs, patterns, and behaviors. You can be the one to say this negative pattern runs in my family—But this is where it runs out! At this point in my career as a psychotherapist, I am very skilled and experienced. However, I have found that the level of willingness of the client to heal is what makes the biggest difference. Truly, the generational curse breakers are the unsung heroes of family systems. It is sacred work that serves to help you, your family, and all of humanity move forward into a brighter future.
2. Use mindfulness to stop the transmission of family karma in its tracks.  Mindfulness is being present and aware, without judging what is going on inside or outside of us in that moment. It is the cultivation of your inner witness that allows you to neutrally observe your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Through practicing mindfulness, we remain in the present and can heal family karma as it arises. Thus, preventing it from getting passed onto our children. Because if you are not practicing being mindfully present, then your brain will signal your kiddo’s brain to mirror your unconscious states. As a result, his or her brain will start to form the patterns that make up the unresolved issues you struggle with. In order to build your mindfulness muscles, I recommend doing a daily mindfulness meditation—it is a powerful way to find your zen and to break generational cycles.
3. Self-Care is how you take your power back from the family karma you inherited.  It starts with choosing to be a cycle breaker, but the way to support yourself in being able to have the energy to follow through—is an investment in a self-care practice. It is your lifeline to being your best self and to maintaining the resolve to say the family karma buck stops here. Consider self-care activities that nurture you on all levels. As a mom, I know that self-care can seem like a pipe dream some days. That is why I recommend pairing activities with things you are already doing. For example, positive affirmations while you are driving for mental level wellness. Maybe yoga or hikes with your kids in tow for the physical level. For the emotional level, try acknowledging yourself for all you do each day every time you brush your teeth. And for the spiritual level, you can do walking meditations with the whole family.
4. Identify and heal unresolved family trauma.  Learning about what traumas your ancestors held onto can come from deep spiritual work with yourself and/or with gifted healers. And I highly recommend working with a skilled therapist if you are dealing with any significant trauma. In addition, meditation and keeping a dream journal are powerful ways to access your inner DNA living library. However, the best place to look is in the present. Because anything unresolved in your family lineage (past lives) will usually manifest in your life or the lives of close family members in some form. And research also proves that positive experiences can heal the effect of passed-down trauma—which is more evidence that doing the inner work and healing family karma are gifts for generations to come!
5. Leave a legacy of loving kindness for your children and the planet.  Being exposed to environmental toxins has an epigenetic ripple effect across generations. In fact, science shows that the environmental toxins your ancestors were exposed to are now in your genes. Because epigenetics may also be “remembered” through the phenomenon known as transgenerational inheritance. As a result, the pesticides or other toxins your ancestors may have consumed could actually have influenced your gene expression. This has colossal implications on your family regarding the importance of living clean and green. Not to mention what it means for the human species as a whole—and how the overall practice of loving kindness engenders a responsibility of living consciously and naturally in respect to the health of the entire ecosystem. One of the most impactful ways we can practice loving kindness is to be conscious consumers of natural, organic, and eco-friendly products that are good for people and the planet.

You have the power to break the cycle

Try these 5 amazing methods for breaking the cycle of family karma and free yourself and your children of generational suffering. You can learn how to go from reactive parenting to responsive parenting. And raise your children to be secure and resilient—while creating positive family karma that will ripple out across many generations to come!

Sign up for my FREE COURSE 5 Simple Steps to Parent With Less Stress & More Mindfulness to learn other key Zen Mommy MAP strategies!

Categories: : Holistic Psychology, Mindful Attachment Parenting, Self-Care